The
tension is viscerally felt in this part of the world in this part of
the time. Were I to describe to you the sensation of staring in the
reflection of a window would then you understand what I mean, what it
is like to feel so utterly of a particular moment that you can sense
the past in all of it, that you might look out in front of you and
see behind, all that is behind and realize that your sense of forward
comes not just from the eyes and the world but that sight in sleep
the song in sleep the places that might be explored in the darkness
where there is obscurity, but now, since I am so keen to find shadow
even in the day and able to trace with my finger their beginning, I
can too use this sleeping eye beneath the sun to see the future
mapped on the face of buildings from straight line to curved and
more. Just now, through my many lenses, I see the world turned to
sandcastles, that they might be gone by the next tide and what a
relief that would be, the system that would result form such a
constructive practice, that it would be known that our buildings
would degrade that there would be no word for that but 'day' and
'night.' We all build sandcastles of the mind, but attempt, just like
our buildings, to keep them from the tide! Why keep them from the
tide, there will be many opportunities to construct, and we needn't
only build once, for in the act of building is the execution of hope!
The construction is the manifestation of our desire to live, we might
think to continue to build, to enliven and enlighten ourselves
through overcoming destruction, what would be gained by loss of fear
in destruction? I say, so much. I speak to you now, with one dollar
to my name, and have been struggling to eat, but no matter,
confronting the destruction of my body has led me to praise the hope
in rebuilding. That if I could eat, I would, that when this tide
would pass, I would rebuild with excitement and pleasure. Loss is
tide, and tides ebb and flow, extreme and tame, the weather changes,
but sand, though moved, does still together form the beds the
beaches. Stand in the shallows, feel the way it works, always
shifting, this was you. This is you still. See the sand within. The
little to the many make us love, the impossibility of that
construction, were we to build so great a castle as all the earth.
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